3 Secrets to Making A Great First Impression

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” How quickly do people form an opinion of you? Seconds? Minutes?
WORSE.
Not to scare everyone, but Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov conducted experiments that showed first impressions occur in 1/10th of a second and aren’t greatly altered by longer exposure to the person.
It isn’t fair, but many judgments are made on faces alone. Studies show that naturally attractive people get better outcomes in all forms of life. But what can you do if you’re not suitable to appear on the cover of Vogue or GQ?

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Here are a few quick tips to have some control over what people decide about you:

1. Make a Great Appearance
Be sure how you look and dress fits the occasion. If you’re going for an interview or business meeting, make sure you’re well groomed and dress conservatively.
What does that mean?
• You bathed and brushed your teeth. No one appreciates bad breath or seeing someone with spinach caught between their front teeth.
• If you’re a man, you’ve shaved and neatly trimmed any beard/ moustache. Also don’t forget to check for pesky nose and ear hair, and that goes for women as well.
• Your hair is combed and you’ve used a mirror to check the back so there’s not a flat spot or something out of place. You don’t want to just look good from the front.
• The outfit you choose to wear is appropriate for the occasion. Like Oscar Wilde said, “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” Of course, this doesn’t mean you should wear a tuxedo, prom dress or evening gown to a job interview or business meeting, but you see the point. If you’re not sure what to wear, search online for photos showing photos appropriate for your category of destination.
• Think about the culture of where you’re going to be. Is it okay to have tattoos showing or face jewelry? If not, do the best you can to minimize them.
• Check yourself in a full length mirror. Is everything as it should be? Is your tie askew or your skirt hanging a little to one side? Are your shoes scuffed or there’s a snag in your hose? Make sure to do a full inspection before departing.

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2. Have Super Power Body Language
How you carry yourself adds to your first impression. You want to look relaxed and confident, but how do you do that if you’re a little nervous?
• On the trip there, listen to some songs that make you feel positive and upbeat.
• Take some deep breaths before going into the building or room. This sends oxygen to your brain and relaxes you. Count 4 beats in and 4 out. Repeat several times until you feel calmer.
• Get in a Power Pose with hands on your hips like Superman and feel the confidence. Of course, do this where people don’t see you unless you want to be recruited for the Avengers.
• Stand up straight. Put your weight on the balls of your feet and keep them shoulder-length apart. Square your shoulders and tuck in your stomach. Keep your earlobes in line with your shoulders and don’t forget to breathe.
• Make eye contact. If you don’t look at the person you’re addressing, you will come across as insecure. You don’t have to hold continued eye contact, but it’s important to look directly at another when you first meet.
• Have a firm handshake, NOT one that could crush a can of tomatoes and NOT one that’s like shaking a wet rag. Practice with friends until you get it right.
• SMILE! You don’t want to look hesitant or nervous, so smile like you would when you meet someone you know well. If you’re not sure, practice in the mirror until it feels natural.

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3. Be a Good Communicator
Interviews and first meetings can be stressful, but there are some things you can do that will help you make a better impression.
• Do voice warm-ups at home or on the way there. The easiest way is to hum in a hot shower so the steam relaxes your vocal chords. Start at medium range and then go as low and high as you can. Scrunch up your face like a prune and then relax it with your tongue hanging out like a hound dog. Say the words “Bay-Be-Buy-Bo- Boom” 5 times quickly to get your tongue working. If you do this, your voice won’t sound thing or crack when you first speak.
• Research the people and/or company culture of your destination. It helps to have some background before a meeting and adds to your ability to make small talk.
• Ask questions about the people you’re meeting. If you’re in a limiting situation like an interview, it can be as simple as how their day has been. If you have more time expanded your questions to learn about the other person’s life, like where they’re from, what they like about working somewhere etc. People like to talk about themselves, and it shows you’re interested in them, making you appear more confident than being solely self-focused.
• Listen. Sometimes when we’re nervous, we don’t listen well. Be sure and pay close attention to the question, and ask that it be repeated, if needed. Answer what you’ve been asked. If someone is telling you a story, don’t look around the room or at other people. They will appreciate you more for giving them your undivided attention.

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If you practice these tips, you won’t care how long you have to connect, because you’ve mastered making a positive first impression.

Beta Traps and Crocodile Brains

Are you job interviewing in this down economy? Pitching a book idea?  Picking a jury? Trying to convince a loved one they really need to go to that football game with you? Raising venture capital?

Life’s about sales, no matter if it’s business or personal relationships. 

I recently read a book by Oren Klaff called Pitch Anything! Klaff chased down every useable theory in the field of Neuroeconomics and formulated an answer to both how he could better forge a connection with the people he was pitching to, which led to multi-million dollar deals in venture capital.

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Klaff says that for more than 40 years, sales trainers have been teaching techniques and methods that help “situationally disadvantaged” salespeople (low social status) get an appointment, build rapport, package a business transaction in a thin and fragile emotional wrapper and, if they’re lucky or doggedly persistent, close a sale.  But it’s all WRONG. 

He talks about how people preparing to pitch ideas have several things to overcome:

1. Beta Traps

2. Crocodile Brains 

You’ve all sat in lobbies or conference rooms before being interviewed, pitching a product or giving a presentation. The moldy magazines, the indifferent receptionist, the bored audiences…you’re stuck in a Beta Trap. Klaf discusses how to change the situation and become an Alpha. It’s crucial in order for people to give attention to you and/or your ideas. 

Then, all the ideas you’re sharing that have been developed in the neurocortex of your brain are being heard by Crocodiles. Their brain says:

1. If it’s not dangerous, IGNORE IT.

2. If it’s not new and exciting, IGNORE IT.

3. Crocodiles will NOT send anything up to the neocortex for problem solving unless they see         
a)  a situation that’s unexpected and out of the ordinary or

          
  b) you have a product as sexy as the iPhone when it first came out that triggered dopamine and sent the brain a reward about pleasure. 

After reading his book, I saw the ideas he discusses can be applied to a wider audience. When I began my career as a prosecutor, the first thing I focused on learning was how to pick juries. I thought, if I didn’t have twelve people who would listen to my case, I might as well pack up before I started. 

Jurors might initially excited to be there, so that helps get around their crocodile brains, but if you can’t sustain their attention they’re going to SHUT DOWN.

If you’re interviewing for a job, if you don’t change up the situation and make them view you as an alpha and keep their attention, you might not get hired.

I highly recommend reading Oren Klaff’s book with a mind to how it can be applied on a broader basis in your life. http://pitchanything.com/book/